me prove me still work in paint, paint

Frist me ask why you so lame? No no not you, but most, you. You want to learn paint. Why you want learn boring landscape paint? Here some grass, here some tree, here some water. . . . Here me pain in mushroom cloud. Wait this good idea! But you so lame you no like mushroom cloud. You scared now you no want learn paint from me. Now me have no money feed cats.
Okay okay some you out there want know how to paint three headed beast being choked to death with intestines. You cool. 
You paint stupid boat you stupid. Stupid flower. . .
So me finish boring landscape paint in roughly 5 hours work while me teaching you how.  Me show you soon.

Me wonder, why take so little time to do stupid paint for you and take so long to make cool paint for me?

So me start new paint.  me try really hard to paint quick. But you keep making me go to work. Me hate you. Me want to paint.
 Sneak peak

So me paint me. Not for you for me.